The Best Bad News

I don't often share my trials, troubles, or worries online.  I already tend to lean on the "what-if" side of things and if I were to always post the difficult things I feel I might linger on them too long, bemoaning my lot in life.  And it's a good lot, when all is said and done, so I post the good things.  That way my friends and family cheer me on and I can focus on counting my blessings and not getting stuck in a "woe is me" cycle.

This year, however, has been hard.  We've been through a refiner's fire.  We've lost jobs, loved ones, endured physical trials, and extremely emotional ones as parents of teenagers testing the boundaries or our love (of course, there aren't any but they sure try to find them!)  And when all those things happen you tend to find yourself saying, "At least my children are healthy."

Until they aren't.

[caption id="attachment_1435" align="aligncenter" width="223"] Brandon babysitting earlier this summer. What a good Daddy he'll make![/caption]

Last month we took our children in for their annual exams.  Something came up that alarmed the doctor with our oldest son's exam.  That started a whirlwind of appointments all in one week.  The words surgery and cancer were mentioned.  And then we had to wait.

We were prepared for the worst, which, in this case would still be okay.  I mean, IF it were cancer it would likely be able to be removed and the survivability as high as you could possibly ask for.  I can't explain how it is to feel gratitude and hope in the same breath as heartache.  I knew, no matter the prognosis, he'd be okay.  I was at peace.  But I wept at the possible pain he'd have to go through and the long term consequences for him and his future family.

Today we were finally able to see the specialist and received the best bad news of my life so far:

IT IS NOT CANCER!

Surgery is still recommended and no biospy or blood work was done.  But, from the ultrasound, the doctor is confident that there is no cancer at this time, nor is it pre-cancerous!

Again, I'm not sharing this because I'm sad.  In the last month we have shared this particular trial with extended family as well as friends and I wanted everyone to know the happy news!

Many of the trials we've had this year may just have been blessings in disguise that allowed the timing for his exam, etc to be extremely providential.  Had Chris not lost his job and Brandon had had his annual exam a few months earlier at his normal time of year, it might have been too early to catch this.  Maybe that is not the case.  I don't know all the 'why's' of these things but I do know our Father has a plan for us!  How grateful I am that we did not allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or fall into the trap of hatred when things became difficult!  We have tried to be patient and now we see His timing had a purpose and we are glad our hearts have been made soft enough to recognize and find joy in it.

"There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
~Washington Irving

And this girl...is on fire.