Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Destruction Gene

Ever hear the phrase, "Oh, they're just boys . . . "? Or "boys will be boys . . . "? I've heard them a lot. From family, friends, strangers, and {mostly} my husband.

I heard it often through each of the boys' peeing outside phase, peeing on the floor phase, peeing in public phase, their climbing on, over, and through phases, and especially their climbing out phases. Once when they had climbed out the not-quite-two-story window and snuck off to be returned by the police, I heard the familiar excuse from a CPS agent - as they peed in the front yard behind her back . . . yeah, these wrinkles have been earned.

I heard it when Brandon went through the naked phase. It would've been a cute phase if my little artist had not liked to use his diaper contents for wall paint.

Brandon, 1999

I heard it when they made {and make} messes in two seconds flat. I mean, when am I supposed to use the rest room?!!

Brandon & Sam, 2000

Speaking of bathrooms, I was reminded how "boys will be boys" once again when they woke up at midnight and decided to paint the bathroom {and themselves} with nearly every shade of nail polish Mary Kay has ever released.

Brandon & Sam, 2001

Did I mention that we had just moved in and redone said bathroom? I heard it in Spanish when the neighbor caught them opening brand-new, never-before-opened latex paint buckets in the backyard with their bare hands and ingenuity.

Sam & Brandon, 2003

You can't tell by the picture, but Sam was only wearing a pair of jeans. By the way, that week I learned that mud is easier to wash out of hair than latex paint, but latex paint is easier than flour. Just trust me on this one.

So what I want to know now is . . .

What's the clever quip or excuse when your daughter spends just one weekend doing this:

A nice new scratch in my end table. I still don't know what she did it with.

Dry erase marker all over the walls and dryer. It will come of the dryer, but the walls . . .?

Lipstick . . . from a compact . . . with her tiny fingers . . . need I say more? Oh, yeah - and all over the yellow suede chair in the living room.

I guess I didn't need that carton of eggs anyway.

Oh, she looks all sweet and innocent . . .

I just want to say I am sorry to everyone in our ward. Sunday was our Children's Primary Program. There were a lot of visitors there to see the children. My sweet angel princess was sitting on her daddy's lap during the sacrament, when all of a sudden he felt a little bubble burst on his leg. Immediately following her "fluff" Elizabeth yelled, "You farted, Daddy!" and laughed.

I am so, so sorry.

But I did laugh.

And the coup de gras . . .

brace yourselves . . .

Goodbye hair. Yes, those are 'hair scissors'.

Well, at least she doesn't drop trau and pee in public . . . yet?


Krissy said...

I like to call it the Unruly Princess phase. lol Natalie at this point has only had her hands on the pretend scissors that come with play-doh. But she holds them at her hair and tries to cut. Yeah. Scissors will be staying OUT of her reach for a LONG. TIME. lol I did that when I was a little girl and haven't lived it down yet. lol I don't like to think of Natalie's schemes as "payback" per se.... but she definitely is my mini-me... in every sense of the word! *gasp* lol

AZSMITHS said...

I don't know what to call it! But I definetly HAVE experienced it- including the poop painting! My lovely 10 year old just did a great number on her hair trying to cut out the rubberbands from her piggy tails!!

But the worst is when the boy and girl get together! I experienced that last Friday...a whole shampoo bottle dumped in the bathtub, while cleaning that up a whole bottle of conditioner was dumped in the shower, while cleaning that up Lauren peed on our carpet- then later there was the cut up sheet and mattress pad! We ended the day with scattered and eaten fertilizer- I had to call poison control for that!

I loved the pictures though- it made me laugh- they are oh so cute and can be oh so naughty! :)

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

Yes, you poor, poor dear! I said this many times in my life, Heavenly Father sent me 3 girls first because he knew if he sent me boys first, I would have never any more children. I must say that Krissy did enough for the other two girls combined.
Payback's a dog they say!
Thanks for joining me! Hope you'll be a follower now!

Anonymous said...

All I can say is I'm totally sorry! Listen to the song, "You're going to miss this" and pretend it's true.

Edie Keysar said...

That gene must have come from Chris' side of the family cause neither you or Jason were ever as bad as your children! I'm so sorry, but at least you have pictures to look at and laugh over as the years go by oh so fast. I just love all those pictures of my precious granchildren. And Lizzy B does look so cute now :)

wwjdctr said...

oh my goodness! lol Those are funny.... I am sure not at the time. I remember doing the make-up stuff and cutting my hair when I was little myself. :/ Perhaps I won't get that payback when or if I have a little girl.
hahaha..... the fart thing was hilarious! Poor Chris!

Morgan said...

I know the feeling! Johnny and AUtumn get into trouble a lot (Ya...johnny peed on my grandparents bush like a month ago, and he's EIGHT...) but lately its Ethan. He might just be following in his older brother's foot steps! ;-)

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